Begin Again

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“On Monday, I’ll just begin again,” I said to myself as I savored the final bite of cheesecake, topped with a thin layer of strawberry glaze and fresh strawberries. I mean, it was good and all, but to be honest, I really didn’t even want it, but it was on the table at the luncheon, and they gave me a carryout container to take it with me, so I did. Yes, it was just Tuesday, but who starts their diet in the middle of the week? Not I! The way I saw it, I would just enjoy the next six days of my life and eat whatever I wanted and come Monday, I was going to begin again and get serious about losing weight, “this time.” As a matter of fact, I figured I might as well wait until Monday to start working out too! It just didn’t make any sense to me to start my new healthy lifestyle and exercise routine at different times, so I would just wait and start at the same time on Monday.

The truth is, the upcoming Monday would be the 5th Monday that I would “begin again.”

A New Year…

I have always wondered how the striking of midnight on a clock and the arrival of a new year often brings a surge of energy, motivation, willpower, lifestyle adjustments and the acknowledgment of changes that needed to be made.

People plan for months in advance what changes they are going to make, how much weight they are going to lose, what relationships they are letting go, how much money they will save, the new business they are going to start, all beginning January 1st. Unfortunately, the surge of energy and motivation that many people experience going into the New Year is short-lived and normally by January 15th and definitely by January 31st, the big surge of energy that they once felt settles into tiny ripples of excuses.

If you don’t believe me, walk into a fitness gym on January 2nd and try to find an open machine without having to wait your turn, then go back on January 31st and observe the increased availability of equipment.

If I were standing in front of the court of law at the moment, my statement would be, “Guilty as charged, Your Honor.” You see the story that I shared about my failed diet, honestly had little to do with a simple diet or a slice of cheesecake, but it had everything to do with my lack of willpower, confidence, self-discipline, and a pattern of procrastination and inaction that had gradually become my norm. My failed diet situation caused me to start doing some self-reflection, which led to me asking myself some tough questions.

Questions like…

Why did I continuously put off things until tomorrow, which should have been done yesterday and could still be done today?

Why did I feel that just because I had failed in one area, meant I had to wait to address the areas in my life that needed attention as well?

Why did I continuously give in to a temptation, that I was fully capable of resisting, but for some reason I gave in any way?

Why couldn’t I just will myself to be better or just take action and do what needed to be done?

I was absolutely clear on what needed to happen in my life and about the actions I needed to take to improve the many areas of my life that had somehow spun completely out of control. While still searching for answers I gathered all of my things, exited my car, unlocked the front door and as I stepped into the house, I said to myself, “Girl, you’re alright…on Monday, you can just begin again!”

The problem with this type of thinking meant that later often became never. I have struggled with my weight fluctuating since I was a child. This truth has always played a role in my confidence, stemming back to many negative childhood experiences. When I was in middle school one of my good friends and neighbor, nicknamed me “Meaty,” which a select few (his friends mainly) still call me today. However, oddly enough, the name Meaty never bothered me.

I had failed at my diet so many times that I had eventually gotten to a point where I felt like I just didn’t care anymore; I was tired. It was when I began to feel hopeless that I stopped putting forth much effort to change, I began making excuses for my shortcomings and ceased, to an extent, caring about the consequences of my actions and how they were affecting myself and some of the people in my life.

Begin Again…

I have learned that no one reinvents themselves overnight due to the tick-tock of the hands on the clock or the day of the week, that’s reflected on the calendar. You reinvent yourself through small steps and actions taken daily, that eventually become habits, and if continued will one day become a way of life.

“I had to change my way of thinking to change my way of living.”

–DeJuan S. Jordan

It wasn’t until I began to change my negative thinking that I began to experience small victories in my life. With each new victory, no matter how small, my outlook on life and my attitude towards it began to change. Each time that I succeeded at something my sense of hope increased and I began to seek ways in which I could succeed and ways that I could win.

The funny thing is that when my mindset changed and my hope increased, the weight that I despised just begin to fall off. I did not make any major efforts to change my diet or my exercise routine, but I got so busy trying to turn my hopes into reality, that the rest took care of itself.

Think about the things that you planned to do or change at the start of 2018. My question is why wait for the clock to strike midnight on New Year’s Day or wait for a specific date on the calendar to start taking the steps that you know you need to take? Why not start immediately?

If you had started working on your goals and implementing your New Year Resolutions the day you created them, you might have possibly already succeeded or been ahead of the game before your delayed deadline even arrived.

Learn the lessons from my story. You don’t have to conquer your challenges all at once, but you do have to decide to begin again!